Why I've Actually Looked FORWARD to Turning 30!

Growing older: totally mandatory and it sure beats the only other option, doesn’t it?

When you were a child and someone asked how old you were, did your answer ever sound like this?: “Well, I’m turning ELEVEN on my next birthday, which is 4 and a half months from next Tuesday!!!!” It’s interesting how most folks change that tune after they reach – say – 18 or 21 or so. At that point, you are supposed to start talking crap about your upcoming birthday. “Maaan! I can’t BELIEVE that I’m about to be thirty-TWO on my next birthday! That is just crazy. I should still be 18 or somethin’.”

You don’t know this, but for most of my life – I have feared aging. When I say ‘fear’, I mean totally-break-down-in-tears-and-lose-it-with-panic-attacks kind of a fear. Isn’t that crazy? I can remember being a little girl – like 5 years old – and looking at old people with white hair, wrinkles, veins showing through skin and being freaked out. It upset me to see them barely able to move and and I felt SO sad and SO sorry for them that I could barely stand it! I used to have visions of my parents getting that old – dad with a long, grey beard and mom with glasses on – and would bawl my eyes out. Yes, I was a sensitive child.

As I got older, it got worse. In general, I really looked forward to all of the YOUNG milestone birthdays [13, 16, 18, 21] but at the same time, I knew that I was inching closer and closer to the end. So I’d be panicked about it at the same time. It didn’t help any that seemingly everyone I knew [females especially] began to dread their upcoming birthdays, year after year, and would complain about growing older. “Please don’t remind me!” and “Ugh!! I’m turning into an old woman!!” are two common phrases for them, right?

Well, then I had a spiritual experience that totally rocked my world. This is not an ad for religion, as anyone who knows me well enough knows that I actually loathe religion. The experience that I had was totally real and totally awesome – and God made Himself very real to me [for the record, our family believes that being in tune with God does not equal religion. there is a difference]. Anyway, it also left me with complete peace, something that I had heard about all my life but really didn’t think existed. From that peace stems such a deep joy and gratitude inside of me…just thankful for everyday life. I may not always act like it, but every single day that I wake up to a new day, I am wholly thankful. ‘Tis true! All of it contributes to confidence in who I am today and what I’m supposed to be tomorrow, and helps me have a positive attitude – which is great for anyone to have, right? I feel that all of that can help keep an old gal like myself young ‘n kickin’!

So the honest truth is that I have been anticipating and looking forward to my 30th birthday, which is today, by the way. I have been about 99% excited and about 1% nervous. There is a teeny, teeny, tiny, minute part of me that is still barely squeaking out “But what about those wrinkles and grey hair that are sure to come?”. So – I will cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, it really doesn’t phase me that bad and I see myself aging gracefully and accepting life’s changes as they happen. To me, this makes more sense than trying to deny it and fight it tooth and nail. Ultimately, I’m trying to be flexible and flow with my life as it happens.

If you are at a point to where you still dread your yearly birthday and look at it as a bad thing, then I want to urge you to reconsider your approach. Try seeing the good in it instead and then you will look forward to it. It might even help you have a more positive outlook on life. Heck, you might even enthusiastically start bragging to people about how old you are turning on your next birthday! So next, I’m looking forward to 35 – and <gulp!> – even 40!! Okay, so it’s a good thing that I have 10 years to get used to that idea!